What’s Up?
There were a few very long days early in their adventure while still working for Tyrone, but this Day 529 is one of their longest for sure. And for fuck’s sake is it hot…
They exit the tunnel, bracing themselves for some sort of trap they’d failed to notice. Nothing happens. They are in a room that looks to be for storing pottery and other non-weaponry. Among the clay pots are some large enough for a kobold to hide in.
QHOR: They may be in one of these!
Qhortho rushes up and smashes one. The shattering pottery echoes through the chamber.
QARZ: You might want to cool it with that. We don’t know what might be ready to gang up on us down here.
Qarzdaq pokes around in the shattered pottery and notices something glimmering.
QARZ: Hey, we have 3 bright red potions over here.
ARAN: Good. We’ll be needing those if things continue as they have been. Looks like there’s another one of these tiny escape tunnels over here.
Rolan points towards a tunnel at the back of the room.
ROLAN: But only one way out for us…
They approach the tunnel at the back of the room, allowing Aran to go first. As Aran passes near Rolan, their Ioun stones almost collide as they whiz around in their orbits.
ARAN: Something’s fucky with the ground over here fellas… Hand me one of those broken pots.
Qhortho grabs a chunk of pottery and gives it to Aran.
ARAN: Step back…
He tosses the pottery into an area of ground covered in small pebbles and broken rock. Iron pikes immediately spring out of the ground by about 2 feet and remain extended. They can navigate through the spikes without issue, but that would have been pretty bad if they happened to walk into that trap.
They enter another cramped tunnel. As they continue along a hard to the left, they smell the unmistakable stench of burning fur. Aran stops and sniffs the air. He whispers to the others.
ARAN: Smells like updog in here.
ROLAN: I smell it too… but what’s up dog?
ARAN: Oh not too much. What’s up with you?
Rolan stares at him blankly. It would be impossible to tell if they all didn’t have Darkvision. The thought crosses Rolan’s mind that he could just cancel Aran’s Darkvision to make it clear how disappointed he is. He thinks better of it.
QARZ: It smells like the Hounds we fought earlier. We may be in for a fight.
Throne Room… Made of… Teeth?
As they come around another bend, Aran can see into the room ahead.
ARAN: Looks like we have one hell of a fight ahead. Or is it seven hells of a fight? Whatever it is, it’s going to suck.
ROLAN: What are we looking at?
Aran describes 3 Red Guard Drakes, 3 Hell Hounds, 8 Kobold Dragonshields, and 17 regular Kobolds.
Rolan looks back to Qarzdaq and Qhortho.
ARAN: It looks like there’s small throne in there too. It looks like it was cobbled together from bones.
Qhortho pushes through the party and rushes out of the tunnel. The front line raises their shields, but they are no match for a raging Dothraki. Qhortho grits his teeth in a grin as he jumps into the air and kicks two of them onto their backs, landing on their shields, suffocating them under his weight.
Rolan steps out of the tunnel and looses arrows at one of the Red Guard Drakes.
The Drakes surround Qhortho, biting and thwapping him with their tails. The Hell Hounds push through the kobolds and breath fire at Qhortho. He manages to jump high enough to escape the full brunt of the damage, providing a momentary reprieve for the 2 Dragonshields below him before landing on their shields and stunning them.
All of the kobolds attack at once, swarming Qhortho. There are so many all at once that they are forced to climb on him to slip their daggers into his flesh. Qarzdaq attempts to cast Haste on him, but he can’t even make out where Qhortho is in the pile.
Qarzdaq casts Haste on Aran and Rolan.
QARZ: Get him outta there!
Aran slashes the kobolds climbing on his friend. He kills one after the next with a single strike to each.
Qhortho roars loudly, breaking out of the kobolds encasing him. He shakes a few of the clingers off and runs closer to the entry tunnel by Qarzdaq and Rolan. He quickly quaffs a potion, trying to quickly recover so he can get back in the fight.
Rolan quickly drops 2 of the Red Guard Drakes. Qarzdaq winces slightly at their deaths but knows it is for the greater good.
ARAN: They’re dropping like flies now!
Qarzdaq instinctively shoots him a look as if he’s being too flippant about these creatures’ deaths, but gets his head back in the game quickly. Qarzdaq knows in his head these are foes and they must die.
The kobolds jump up from the ground and attack Aran. The Guard Drake slams Aran with its tail. The Hell Hounds release more fire breath, encompassing most of the Assembly.
ROLAN: Aran, take out the hounds!
ARAN: With pleasure…
Aran strikes the closest hound, taking it down with one strike. He continues to the next but it evades enough of the damage to stay alive… for now. One of the kobolds jumps at Aran, but Qarzdaq kills it mid-attack with a fire bolt to the face.
Rolan shoots a few arrows at one of the hounds and takes it down just as it is about to breathe another cone of fire. This only pisses off the last one, enveloping the entire party in fire.
The lesser-geared kobolds tremble with fear at this show of force and attempt to flee. Aran slashes at one of the kobolds as it scurries off, but hits on the air above its little head.
The well-armed Dragonshields seize the opportunity while Aran is off his footing and attack all at once. The fear is too much for most of them, but a few of them strike true. It’s enough for Aran to take notice but not enough to be concerned. Aran fells one of them in response.
ARAN: Come on guys, I can’t kill all of them myself!
Qhortho waves his hand at Aran as he downs a potion and recomposes himself. A few more attacks and most of their enemies are dead. The remaining flee into a nearby tunnel.
Aran chases after him, but his Haste causes him to trip and fall face-first onto the ground at the tunnel’s entryway. A hissing sound is heard above his head as a fine green mist sprays from nozzles above him. But the extra Haste has its advantages as well. He jumps to his feet and vaults backwards into the middle of the room, escaping some of the poison damage inflicted by the trap.
They discuss taking a short rest again, but decide, again, it would not be in their best interests. They decide to quaff more potions as they peruse the room.
The bones-and-teeth chair-throne is up a step, almost like a small dais. Next to it, an iron pot contains some valuables in the form of necklaces, silver, gemstones, and… teeth.
QARZ: I’m not sticking my hand in that thing… it could be trapped.
ARAN: Yeah, that’s a good point.
QHOR: If you’re too scared, I’ll do it.
Qhortho reaches in and grabs most of the contents with one fist. He doesn’t appear to trigger any sort of retaliation from the pot.
Qarzdaq and Aran look at each other and shrug.
ARAN: Well, better you than me, right buddy?
Qhortho takes this as a compliment and they divide the loot.
There are a few exits from this room; one that all of the kobolds fled through, one to its left, another one far to the left, and one behind the tooth chair-throne-thing.
ARAN: The one behind the throne is the only one that is a little different. I say we take that one.
Round and Round
The group agrees and they continue down another cramped, winding tunnel. Just as they exit the tunnel into a small roughly-oval room, they see a kobold snap to attention and run towards the left-most of 5 tunnels. Rolan pushes through his friends and fires an arrow. The arrow strikes the kobold just as he passes the tunnel’s threshold, sending the creature flying into the tunnel about 5 feet and killing it.
ROLAN: That’s how this shit is done boys. Now which of these is the right way for us to go? We know they can cross through these traps with ease and I don’t really feel like triggering any more of them.
QARZ: I say we go into the one where he was headed.
ARAN: Yeah.
QHOR: Ok.
Aran takes the lead and notices a tripwire about an inch off the ground at the tunnel’s entrance. It appears to be leading to a very simple mechanism connected to 4 nozzle-like openings. They decide to step over it and not bother with disarming it.
The tunnel curves to the right and forks into 2 paths: 1 that continues straight; the other continues to curve to the right. Taking the right path, they approach another small roughly-oval room. Just as Aran exits, the floor gives way a little bit, triggering blades from the ceiling to quickly pass through the tunnel, slicing their flesh then retracting into the ceiling. None of them are able to escape this one with so little room to maneuver.
ARAN: Guys, wait there. I’m not sure how to avoid this one other than jumping over it.
He looks around this room and notices an exit straight ahead on the opposite wall and 4 other tunnels on the same wall where they are exiting: 1 to the right and 3 to the left.
ARAN: This looks a little familiar… Don’t trigger the trap by coming in here, I’ll come back that way.
Aran gets a running start and dives into the tunnel at Rolan. They topple over like dominoes, but at least the trap hadn’t triggered. They get up and back track to the fork in the tunnel, then Aran leads them straight ahead.
Another 15 feet or so and they reach a T-intersection: continue straight ahead and into a curve to the right; or take a 90-degree left, which then curves to the right.
They continue straight. It curves to the right then slightly left before they reach an exit. There is a simple tripwire leading to a pulley above that guides the strand of wire down the tunnel, back the way they came. Aran motions for the others to stop and wait. He steps over the tripwire, entering a small roughly-oval room that looks familiar. He sees the one exit on the opposite wall, 1 exit to the left and 3 others to his right.
ARAN: This is the same fucking room. Mind the tripwire there guys. Let’s try going in this one over here.
Now facing the 5 tunnels on one wall, they approach the one on the far right. Before entering, Aran notices a small mound of dirt on the ground. Knowing what these kobolds are capable of he looks at the mound carefully and gently brushes some the dirt aside revealing a portion of a clay pot.
ARAN: I think this is how they create the pressure plates. Make sure to step over this.
They continue straight and curve to the left, ending at a T-intersection leading left and right. Aran leads them to the right. It curves slightly left then straightens out, leading to another choice: straight or hard left. They continue straight then curve to the left, finding the dead kobold from earlier.
ARAN: What??
ROLAN: We should exit this tunnel and go in the center one.
QARZ: Well, let’s be sure. Let’s go back into the right-most one and take that first left.
They enter the right-most tunnel, take the first left, and emerge from the tunnel next to it.
ROLAN: We should exit this tunnel and go in the center one.
QHOR: Let’s go in the middle one.
They all agree. Aran looks carefully around the threshold and doesn’t notice anything. Suddenly, a large spear is shot at Aran, striking him directly in the chest.
ARAN: MOTHERFUCK!
They tend to Aran for a few moments then continue straight.
Fucking Hell
After several feet, the tunnel descends into now unbearable heat. They continue forward, knowing the importance of their mission. As the tunnel continues, it widens in all directions to 5 feet, then 10, then 15. It isn’t too much farther before it opens to a very large cavern, glowing with red light, illuminated from wide glowing holes in the floor and Giant Fire Beetles on the walls. Far ahead, maybe 120 feet, 6 Kobold Sorcerers are standing around talking with each other. 6 hell hounds are on guard not more than 10 feet in front of the Sorcerers.
Aran checks his gauntlets. Best way out is behind them and they’re about 80 feet from the surface.
Qarzdaq touches Qhortho’s arm and casts Haste.
QARZ: Ride like the wild east horses, my friend. And don’t get killed.
Aran takes a stance as if about to run the 50-meter dash.
ROLAN: Alright… let’s do this…
Rolan launches the Fireball stored in his Ioun Stone into the center of the Sorcerers and Hell Hounds, fully encompassing all of them in a brief explosive flame.
Aran dashes directly towards the ball of fire between the large gaps in the floor. The ground cracks below his feet. It quickly outpaces him, a crooked line forming before his every step. It branches out around him. Just as the ground gives way below him, he launches himself forward. Time stands still for what feels like an eternity as the ground falls away, far down into lava pits below. In every direction, the edge must be at least 15 feet away. Instinctively, he tosses his guandao in front of him just past the edge. It skids to a stop just a foot beyond. He continues to soar through the air, his feet now below his would-be ground. He slams chest-level into the ledge. He winces, not with pain, but with the uncertainty of whether this will also give way. It doesn’t. He quickly clambers up the ledge, snags his guandao, and looks back to his allies. On one knee, he nods to the others.
Aran looks towards the flame, now cleared, to see his enemies looking for the surprise threat. He gets to his feet and rushes towards the Hounds. Another break in the ground, this one far smaller, halts his progress.
Looking down a hundred feet, flat islands stand like pillars in an all-encompassing lava pool. It must be another 50 below the tops of the rocky islands, but the heat feels like it’s inches away. It’s then that he notices the entire area is populated. The number of foreign-looking creatures is hard to fathom. There are too many to count. Fire Elementals, Fire Snakes, Salamanders, Half-Dragon Men chanting around a large black obelisk… and… a gargantuan Red Dragon. This fucking thing is easily 30 feet wide… The enormity of the situation grasps him by the throat.
His voice sputters at first, but he manages to get out a warning to the others.
ARAN: Stay along the walls!
The party hears him, but the ambient noise does make it more difficult down here than in the rest of the caverns; the sound is akin to reverberating hissing flames if there were a thousand in a small area.
Qarzdaq briskly walks around near the walls. Giant Fire Beetles crawling along the walls don’t seem to notice him. Qarzdaq decides its best to leave them be. He sends a Fire Bolt across the nose of one of the hounds.
Qhortho rushes around the perimeter, towards the Hell Hounds and Sorcerers. As he passes a gap in the walls, he sees 2 more Hell Hounds standing near each other. He continues past that hall in a blur to strike his intended targets. He destroys one of the Hounds with a flurry of strikes. He manages to badly injure another just before Rolan finishes him off with a couple of Truer Shot arrows.
Aran arrives a second later but badly misses one of the hounds and stumbling a bit. His target responds with Fire Breath directly in Aran’s face, causing tremendous damage. A second arrives and attacks Qhortho in kind.
A third, the one who was almost hit by Qarzdaq’s Bolt, runs towards its attacker across the open ground of the cavern. No one else immediately around him, he mentally prepares to fight this thing on his own. He can probably get off one good attack before that beast reaches him. However, the combination of its weight and strength pounding on the ground opens the floor below it. It almost clambers up the ledge, but its weight is too great. The hound slips out of sight, its squealing roar fading out as it falls into the fiery pit below.
The Sorcerers unleash a barrage of Scorching Rays in unison, landing multiple strikes on each of the Assembly.
They continue to press their attacks until finally destroying the Sorcerers and Hell Hounds. Given that the other 2 Hell Hounds haven’t come after Aran and Qhortho from behind, they probably hadn’t noticed Qhortho running past.
Aran waves over Qarzdaq and Rolan. Behind the Sorcerers, farther into the cavern, is a floor-to-ceiling gap that leads around to the left. Instead of following that path, they move along the wall away from the other Hell Hounds towards a third gap that leads to the right.
They slowly follow the path to see a gap in the floor about 40 feet ahead. Not more than 20 feet or so beyond that, a Red Guard Drake faces away from them, lounging on the ground without a care in the world.
QARZ: Nope… not this way.
They shuffle back to the pile of dead bodies.
ARAN: Qhortho and I should rush the hounds around the corner. We have to hit them hard and fast.
QHOR: That’s what she said.
The group looks at him blankly as if this is the least appropriate time for a joke.
QHOR: It’s called levity. Get some fuckin culture.
The multi-leveled irony of the statement is not lost on anyone except Qhortho.
The group rushes in. Aran and Qhortho lead the way, gouging the hounds with their melee attacks; Rolan and Qarzdaq follow up with ranged attacks. The Hell Hounds envelop the front line with fire only once before they are slain.
They are thankful to have the loud background noise covering up their enemies’ death cries.
They sneak forwards, finding the area open to a small alcove with one of the small Kobold-sized escape tunnels. A gap along the right-side wall leads to another corridor-like gap. Aran takes care to peek through the passage: it branches to the right and left. To the right will lead them back towards the pile of dead bodies; this was the passage behind the Sorcerers. To the left leads to another area teeming with some weird-looking fire creatures and some small mounds of magma around a large glowing gap in the floor.
Aran pulls his head back in to address the group.
ARAN: Ok so I know which way we have to go, but it’s not going to be pretty.
They agree on a plan that is little more than “move in, kill.”
Aran runs in and sees 3 Magmins. He shoves one of the Magmins into the hole in the floor. He watches it fall and strike one of the rocky plateaus below, exploding on impact. His hands burn a little afterwards, but that was worth it. It was so worth it that he shoves the second Magmin into the hole. This time he chuckles to himself when it explodes. Knowing he can’t pull off the same gag a third time, he adds a twist. He swings the butt of his guandao around to sweep the third Magmin into the hole. The creature looks hurt by the strike but doesn’t budge.
As Aran is messing with the Magmins, Qhortho runs past him, looking for a target. His eyes fall on a whole lot of them: 4 Hell Hounds, 4 Dragonshields, some Fire Snakes, more Magmins, a couple of Red Guard Drakes, and 2 Fire Elementals.
QHOR: Not pretty??
Aran looks at him and shrugs.
ARAN: Did you really need all the detail?
Just as he is responding, the pile of magma closest to him comes to life in the form of long-beaked, winged fire creature. Suddenly, he feels it getting very warm in his full plate. The plate itself is now blisteringly hot, the silvery steel now turning red. His entire torso feels as if it is on fire.
Rolan and Qarzdaq rush out after Qhortho and stop as soon as they lay eyes on the force around them.
Rolan looses an arrow into the last Magmin closest to Aran. It explodes in flames, just out of Aran’s range. Rolan shoots an arrow at the Mephit next to Aran, killing it with a single strike.
Qarzdaq looks around for an enemy he knows his fire can hurt. Dragonshields. Perfect. He sends a Fire Bolt right into one of their faces.
Qhortho stomps over to one of the piles of magma, sheathing his blade and equipping the shovel he snagged earlier. He quickly slides the shovel under the pile of magma, the blade of the shovel begins to soften as Qhortho sends the glopping magma over the edge. It transforms on the way down to a Mephit and flies back up from the hole, hovering in its center.
Rolan shoots and kills the Dragonshield Qarzdaq hurt and turns his attention to the floating Mephit that Qhortho threw over the edge. He shoots the Mephit, causing it to explode in Qhortho’s vicinity. Qhortho is hit by some of the flame, but it’s not too bad.
The Hell Hounds nearby rush Aran and Qhortho. Aran gets first strike and manages to gouge one of their eyes, but the retaliatory fire breath takes them down considerably.
ARAN: Focus on these things! We can’t take much more of this!
A Red Guard Drake charges Qhortho and manages to bite him and slam him with its tail. A Fire Snake attempts to do the same thing but fails on both attempts.
Aran takes down the Hell Hound he attacked previously, but fails to kill any of the others.
Qarzdaq casts Haste on Aran and Qhortho.
A large pillar of fire with 2 fire snakes alongside it quickly approach Qhortho, they all strike at once. Their attacks leave him badly burned and also on fire. Unless he douses the flames, he will remain on fire.
Multiple creatures driven by fire magic close in on them with Aran and Qhortho having less than 40% of their vitality remaining. The Unlikely Assembly is truly in a tough spot. However, from their battles this session, they’ve gained 3,450 XP each, bringing them just short of gaining new abilities (82,200 / 85,000). But can they live long enough to earn them? Oh yeah… and this is STILL DAY 529!